As we all know Twitter crashed for several hours today. And as a certified Twitter-holic I remembered a lot of everyday stuff that was supposed to be done! Then I had this beautifully insane talk via Skype with my buddy Michael Sarles (which by the way has an incredible Blog you should Visit here) and went on discussing about what a twitter-holic’s day would look like when twitter crashes. Here is an exhaustive list of 50 Facts. And believe me, It’s certified!

• Pays his bills

• Meets his kids

• Remembers his wife

• Finally attends that funeral he missed

• Feeds his dying dog

• Dusts off his car

• Does laundry

• Takes a shower

• Eats a real meal

• Gets dressed

• Remembers Family

• Goes on Facebook

• Gets decaffeinated

• Sleeps!!!

• He still wonders where in the world @GuyKawasaki is

• Learns how to tie his shoes again

• Re-enters society

• Finally finds out he had neighbors

• Tries to remember which side of the road to drive on

• Wonders what season it is

• He checks his MySpace

• He forgets what a hash tag means

• Turns on the TV

• Watch news

• Finds out he/she is still on the Cable

• Buys a newspaper

• Realizes birds can’t carry a whale in a net

• Figures out that all birds are NOT blue!

• Is surprised when everyone he meets is not brilliant or inspiring.

• Tries to remember how to sign his name

• Gets in a bad mood because nobody wants to ((hug)) in the street

• Is disappointed that no one thanks him when he repeats what they say

• Is upset that no one thinks he’s awesome when he does the simplest things

• Is surprised when no one asks him if he wants his teeth whitened

• Wonders if his boss is an annoying bot

• Wonders what his job used to be

• He is amazed that no one is sending photos of what they ate

• Asks his wife and buddies to tell him some inspirational quotes

• Thinks his friends suck for having normal jobs and lives

• Helps every old person to cross the street

• Keeps refreshing the twitter page

• He has tons of information, but no one cares

• He calls all his friends wanting their latest updates

• He keeps following people in the street just because they said something brilliant

• He says thank you and I love you to everyone looking at him

• He is frustrated that he can’t find any celebrities

• He finds out that he only needs his mouth to talk and to engage conversations

• Is surprised when people look like their pictures

• Still gets frustrated when people are too busy to talk to him

• Finds out that he doesn’t need more than one body to represent himself.

If you have any facts, why not share them with us in the comments section below?! Oh and hey don’t forget to Follow Michael Sarles on Twitter (hoping it works again).

Tagged as: crash, fail whale, social media, twitter, twitterholic